just be ...

Touch a Truck.

A couple of weekends ago (yes! I know I am a bit behind!), Max and I met up with my brother, sister-in-law + kids at the Elmhurst Park District's Touch a Truck event.  This was our second year attending.  I think its a great event.  Last year, the boys were skeptical, but still wanted to sit in some of the trucks.  Max was way too small to do anything. 

This year, Max was interested, but only from the stroller.  The boys were really into it, but had enough of the horns.  (seems the highlight of going in to any truck was to press the horn, got real old, real quick.)  We got to sit in a fire truck, a de-icer from United Airlines, a Two Men and a Truck moving truck, a school bus and a Jewel food truck.  Each truck was giving away a trinket of sorts.  United gave out wings.  Fire department gave out the red plastic hats.  Two Men and a Truck, balloons.  Jewel, Jewel gave out chocolate covered pretzel sticks dipped in mini chocolate chips (dark, milk + white).  Um, hello...I'll be back to the Jewel truck any day! 

*fire engine + airplane de-icer

Then there was the Helicopter.  We were first in line. 

Some one wasnt interested at all.  That's okay, because when I looked inside, there isnt much room to do anything in the helicopter.  My 'small space issue' would surface, and quick!

John and Joe.

There are no words. 

God Bless, America.

I heart Grandma.

Tonight I went through this binder full of my grandmother's knitting and crochet patterns.  All of the patterns are from 1950s + 1960s - they are awesome!  The pictures in some of the books are awesome!  Can make one nostalgic for an era that she didnt even exist in! 

I was given this binder when we moved my grandmother from her house to an assisted living center.  I never really took a look at the contents until tonight when I thought to make something for Max.  As soon as I opened it, there was a very familiar smell that all of my cousins if they were to close their eyes and recall being at Grandma's house, they would smell it too.  It was her smell.  Her house smell.  What a warm warm feeling it brought to me.  I then cried a bit because I miss her. 

And when I found this, I cried a little bit more.  Grandma's are just SO special.  I cannot describe it, but its just an amazing feeling as a person to have known a grandmother.  Especially one who loved each and every one of her grandkids more than anything. 

And this is why my grandmother was an extraordinary woman.  She saved this given to her by my Aunt Dorothy.  Though it was something simple, it had a lot of meaning in it and she wanted to cherish it(that, or she's a pack rat and didnt throw anything away!). 

I miss my grandma, especially on days like today when I find things like this and when I could use a little pick-me-up. 

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Dear Aunt Dorothy - or her children - if you want this item, let me know and I'll drop it in the mail.  Love, Melissa

Saugatuck, Michigan.

This weekend, Max and I traveled to Saugatuck Michigan with my brother and his family.  I love this area of Michigan, and currently its the place I will retire to when its *that* time. 

We had a great time, though it was short.  I just cannot get over how much I enjoy watching all three boys together.  Makes my heart swoon.  Especially now that they are older and can communicate more, Max included. 

Here are some favorites from the weekend.

A thing I am surprising myself as a parent is I am finding that I tend to let go of things being perfect and just being in the moment.  This weekend for example, it rained on Saturday morning, but I was totally game for walking to the end of the pier and around South Haven with Max.  What is even greater is Kelly and Andrew are the same.  So this past Saturday when it was just pouring on our heads, and we were soaked, we still went through with our plans.  I am SO thankful we did.  Max and I will have this awesome memory to cherish now.  Thank you Andrew, Kelly, Charlie and Tyler for being so fun to hang with.  We love you!

The Three Musketeers.

When I found out I was having a boy, and only 18 months after the twinkies, I was pretty excited that Max would have an opportunity to be close to his cousins.  My brother and sister-in-law were excited as well.  My family never lived near extended family - as in the same town, metropolitain area - for as long as I can remember.  So knowing that my brother is a short car ride away, makes the whole parenting / family thing that more richer. 

Every few weeks or so, Andrew, Kelly and I try to get together so not only can we see each other, but so the boys can spend time together.  Most recently was a couple of weeeks ago while my brother was in the Mackinac race.  Kelly and the boys came out this way and we basically chilled in the backyard.  And when I say 'chilled' we were no where near cool, as it was so stinking hot.  But the boys were able to enjoy the new crab pool and its sprouting feature. 

Max was more interested in the spigot.

I tried to lure him to the crab pool... why yes that would be a giant mosquito bite on his forehead. 

The boys had some fun with the pool.

Then there was a case of  'invisible man' ... cant see them, can you??

Whoa! There they are! 

Wait! We're still missing one!

As Kelly posted on Facebook - Rub a dub dub, three boys in a tub!  (we had to - they were all covered in sand!)

These are the times I am thankful for modern technology and being able to capture these moments on virtual film.  I want Max, Charlie and Tyler to know these were good childhood memories.  Someday when they are older, they will see this here blog, or Kelly's photos and say, 'Geez Mom!'.  And that is when Kelly and I will high-five each other! 

Eight.

Here it is, the most recent picture of the grandkids of my family.  Eight of them. 

Sara (19), Megan (17), Nicholas (15), Erika (12), Zachary (9), Charlie (2), Tyler (2), Max (1)

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And the outtakes:
 

Random Thoughts (its a long one...).

Today is Easter Sunday.  First Easter with Max.  Not sure if its me still feeling like I need to 'catch-up' from when I was traveling, but I wasnt all that thrilled about this holiday.  (in its defense, it is ranked #3, after Christmas and Halloween)

I did get Max an Easter basket, and filled it with goodies.  He seemed to enjoy the plastic eggs.  I had left them empty because really, what do you put in a plastic egg for a one year old??  Yes, ONE YEAR.  Will get to that further on.  I did put a few m&m's in one for him to shake around.  He loved it!

We met up with Grandma + Ginga at church.  They had the full adult choir today at mass.  They were loud, and beautiful.  As they sang the procession song, I realized today is a BIG day in the religious world.  Yes, I always knew it was a big day.  As an adult, now with a child, I felt the 'hugeness' of the day.  All the flowers on the altar, the flowers wrapped around the cross (the one on a stick the altar boy carries).  I am happy I have a faith.  I am happy I get to share it with Max.

After church, we went to Grandma's to hang out for a bit before heading out for lunch/dinner.  Apparently Max was hungry.  Or teething.  Or just learning what the coffee table is by touch.  (I was told by his teachers Max is a sensory learner, uses the senses to learn.)

I love him.

Today is also my brother's birthday.  We celebrated with a visit to the boat shop at Bass Pro.  Why not?  If for nothing else, the boys - twinkies + Max - enjoyed it.  (And its official, Mr. Right is now required to have a boat.)

One year ago today, I was 37 weeks pregnant and was DONE with being pregnant.  I was a nervous wreck about becoming a parent.  I was CLUELESS of the changes that were coming.  One year ago next Sunday, a dream that I had carried with me for as long as I can remember finally came true.  When they say, 'be careful what you wish for...', or 'miracles do happen', or 'dreams do come true', they really mean it.  They arent telling lies. 

My life has changed so much in the last year.  Starting with the obvious addition of Max, but also what he has brought to my life.  I am a much happier person now.  I am a much healthier person (mentally, emotionally and getting there physically).  A fellow-blogger friend is on the fence about becoming a single mother.  She is in what they call the 'thinking' stage.  She has all the same questions and thoughts and feelings I had prior to Max.  I just want to go to wherever she is, give her a big hug and say, 'its more than you ever imagined!'.  Because at the end of each day, you get to hang out with your kid(s) and be goofballs...

and have help with the laundry...

and know that sitting on a boat you know you can never afford, in a boat shop on a Saturday night is SO much better than being on a date with Mr. SO Wrong. 

Today, I also learned the true colors of a few people.  And this is what I take away from it (see above about how Max has changed my life), I dont want Max to associate with people like this, nor do I want him to learn their negative behaviors.  So to be a good role model for Max, I am choosing to treat these people differently, still with respect, but different.  Change.  Its not always your enemy, sometimes you are better friends with it than you know. 

And that is it ...

{this moment} ... late? early?

image from flickr

this is how i feel right now.  done. finished. cooked.  have had so much sucked out of me over the last 48 hours where i see things in such a different light.  the loyalty i once had is now gone. 

its time i go home, get back in to my routine with my son, and figure out our next steps forward. 

When Mommy's away...

I had thoughts of how Max would be when I was here in Budapest.  I actually didnt know how it would go over. Well, apparently its going over just fine.  Its almost as if I dont exist...

Looks as if he his having a GRAND time!  That makes me feel good. 

ps - poor Tyler, having a heck of a time with his molars...seeing he needs to stuff his entire fist in his mouth! (which by the way is a TOTAL Andrew move...facial expression and all!)

2 out of 3.

This past weekend was a bit crazy for all of us.  One of the twinkies was in the hospital for what turned out to be a very bad sinus infection.  The other twinkie stayed at Grandma's for the weekend.  Max and I's sleeping schedule was off, and 3:30am was a perfect time to get up for the day, which eluded to nap times being off and one overtired mommy. 

Though on Sunday, Max and I met Grandma at church and then headed over to the house to hang with Charlie.  It just didnt feel right without Tyler there, and he wanting to play with Max.  I didnt think to do this on Sunday, so Thank You Picnik!

*sorry Kelly, this is the best I could get!

And this game of chase would have been ten times better if Tyler was here.  In other words, we were constantly thinking and talking about Tyler.  Hopefully soon, when he is feeling better, he can come over for a game of chase. 

chase from Melissa Mensavage on Vimeo.