just be ...

Sometimes.

Sometimes I wonder if God just gets a good chuckle out of throwing us for a loop.  If He finds pleasure in handing out complete crap to good people.  I dont know and that'll be one of the first things I say to Him when at the gates of Heaven.  I'll bitch at him non-stop for about a day or two, cool down and then he can let me in. 

Things are definitely looking better today, but still not in the clear.  Maybe we will never be.  Maybe the message of 'living in the now' has to take place.  That is definitely a lifestyle change in this house, choosing to live in the now.  Honestly I dont think its a bad thing to take on. 

By living in the now, I think I will get to see more of this. 

 

He's trying very hard to figure it out.  I dont want to miss out on these things, so stepping back and taking deep breaths will be necessary.  However, I think I will find myself much more pleased when I do. 

Reality.

via To say the least, the last couple of days have been not-so-great.  My heart is low, my fear is high.  I try to find comfort in what is 'normal' but that no longer exists.  A new normal is on the horizon.  One that I am not sure I like.  One I definitely have no say in.  There isnt anything wrong with Nameless #2, or Max.  Or me.  I am just angry right now as someone I love has been dealt a card that no one ever wants.    I could be angry wtih God.  And I might be, I havent decided yet.  There is bright sunshine in the photo above, behind the black cloud.  I am going to take that, remember that, implant that in my brain that this card is not the end-all of all things.  I wont accept that.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins.

What to do with a banana that has had a couple of bites taken out of it and someone doesnt want it anymore?  Cut off a few pieces, mash up and make muffins!

I usually dont buy bananas for this exact reason, because I dont eat them, they will go to waste.  Today, not sure what made me think to make muffins, but I did, and they are tasty!

*Baker's note - I only used the 2/3 banana that was left-over, I did not use the whole 3 mashed bananas.  These have a cupcake like consistency.  They also took about 25 minutes, but after 15 mins I would set the timer at 3 minute intervals until toothpick check was clean.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins
1/2 c vegetable oil
2 eggs
1 c sugar
3 TBsp milk
1 Tsp baking soda
1/2 Tsp vanilla
3 bananas, mashed
2 c flour
1 c chocolate chips (though i always add more!)
nuts, optional

Beat together oil, eggs, sugar and milk with electric mixer. 
Add baking soda, vanilla, bananas and flour. Mix well.
Stir in by hand chocolate chips and nuts.
Fill greased muffin tins (or use paper cups) about 3/4 full. 
Bake @ 350 for 15 minutes.  (see note above)

This is how we roll.

This is how we celebrate the first day of Spring.  Especially when its 80+ degrees outside, and is completely not normal for Chicago in March. 

We have fudgesicles. 

I made a Mommy mistake with this.  I should have taken off his clothes!  It was a mess, and I think it ruined the outfit, which was one of my favorites.  (might be heading back to the store to buy a replacement.)  I definitely learned my lesson.  No need for people to tell me.  There are just some things you have to figure out on your own and being a parent of a toddler, again, is a first for me.  

We hope you have a fantastic Spring season! 

(ok Chicago, back to normal please.  its going to be April soon, start bringing on the snow.)



30 Weeks.

Here I am thirty weeks pregnant.  I used to take a picture every week during my pregnancy with Max.  I tried to commit to that same task with this one, as I didnt want for Nameless #2 to fall into the typical 'subsequent child' syndrome - where there are no pictures, no details in a baby book, etc, etc, etc, but I have in fact fallen into this. 

I havent gained as much as I have at this point in my pregnancy as I did with Max, but I am definitely bigger this time.  (and I have yet to clean the full length mirror that I use!) 

But I can say this, my energy is basically in the negative zone, meaning I have none. Zero. I have enough to get to work, come home take care of Max and I find myself closing my eyes whenever I can. 

I miss it.  I am not one who takes naps during the day/weekend.  I am one who pretty much has energy all day long.  I have even more energy when I eat healthy and exercise (even if its a walk around the neighborhood wtih Max). 

I worry with Nameless #2, I wont have this energy back.  I am not one who lays around and does nothing.  I like to be outside when its nice.  I like to do things on the weekends.  I like to feel like I am living.  And with Nameless #2, I worry that I wont be able to do all the things that I want to do and that I should do with the kids. 

Any of my multiple child moms have any advice?  Does the energy return? 

Another Every Day.

That sentence has really struck me.  Soulemama used it to close out one of her posts, and I couldnt help but reflect on that.  Another every day. 

Dont get me wrong, I like it.  I like that it forced me to stop all the unnecessary-ness on Monday and just be with Max. 

I like that it has made me think about all the every days we'll have, and how I want to make them as worthwhile as possible.  Somedays are harder than others, like for example Sunday with the time change the dude didnt go to bed until 9pm.  I was literally asleep in bed, while he sat next to me watching a video on my laptop. 

Then somedays are easy, like Monday.  Though I worked late, I didnt feel the need to get dinner on the table immediately and instead we hung outside for a while.  I can tell he loved it.  I enjoyed being outside in the fresh air myself (especially after a long day in the office).  This just might become part of the routine. 

With all the events in life - birthdays, school parties, sporting, holidays, etc - I want Max to remember these days in between, the every day.

ps - dont make fun of my lame-ass sidewalk drawings or the nastiness left over from last years foilage! ;o)

Sunday Story.

Another Sunday.

-Slept in, not intentionally because of the time change, so we didnt make it to church. 
-The Twinkies spent the night at Grandma's; they came over after they got up to help with painting (another major much-needed decorating project). 
-The Three Musketeers (or 3M as I'll call them), hung out and played OUTSIDE as it was so nice outside. 
-Thank you to my brother for hanging a curtain rod for me.  Much Appreciated!

Chicago French Market.

On Saturday Max and I headed into the city (his first trip ever!) to check out the French Market at the Northwestern train station. 

We had a change in plans and it was a total last minute decision.  I am glad I was a bit flexible (normally I am not and have to plan and mentally prepare for events), and it worked out great! 

I used to work directly across the street from the market and have mixed emotions about it - one, WHY wasnt it there when I was working in the city??? and two, SO glad it wasnt there, I'd be 500lbs and poor as heck!

The place is literally a market, though most vendors have food to serve.  My favorite?  Toss up between the crepes and the cheese vendors. 

I found parking about a block away, that we had to walk under a set of el tracks.  Max was literally screaming, 'CHOO CHOO!', every two minutes (or according to the train schedule!).  Before we left, we hung out in the parking lot for a few extra minutes to see just a few more trains. 

This is definitely a place we'll go back to.  Maybe next time when we head into the city, we can stay longer, but for the first trip ever together - it was perfect!  Made our Saturday!

Creativity.

I said in a previous post that I am not one to hinder’s anyone creative expression.  And its true.  In fact I encourage people to be creative, because I know what it does for me – allows something in the brain to release and I feel good.  Whether this something is a chemical or hypothetical (meaning there is nothing and its just a good distraction from the regular day stresses), either way I think it does one good. 

Everyone’s creativity is different.  Some are similar, but no two are alike.  And I like that.  (its taken me many years to figure it out!)  As you can see for me, I am not one to come up with the fantastic ideas, but I can follow-thru with a task and feel good that I was able to take something from ‘blah’ and make it into ‘voila!’. 

My dad can do the same.  I think he has a natural talent for woodworking.  At my request, he made Max a teether, out of a piece of Maple wood.  It is so fabulous, that I might hold it for Nameless #2 (don’t even ask, I got nothing!).  I was very much surprised when I collected the mail to see the package from Dad.  I ripped it open at once (because I can and normally I do with any goodie that comes in the mail) and I jumped for joy with excitement.  I literally had to inspect it to see if it was handmade because it is so well done. 

Wood teethers are popular on Etsy, some as expensive as $15 each.  I had purchased one previously for Max and paid roughly $20, but have since lost it.  I was going to buy another one, but I decided to ask Dad instead – for one, I know he enjoys making the stuff, two, it’ll be a special gift that I’ll save for the boys. 

We had to give it a test run last night.

Any teether is good for a child who is teething, but I prefer something that wasn’t made in China (even though it would meet the child safety standards).  Something about supporting us folks here at home makes me feel better. 

You’re awesome Dad!

Shamrocks.

Totally and completely stolen from here.  Mine arent as glamorous as hers, nor my house.  But I love the way they turned out, and they add the perfect amount of 'Erin Go Bragh'-ness around here. 

If it werent for Making A Human, I'd partake in a green beer or two this year, along with some corned beef.  Yum!

 

These were totally easy to make, and completely free.  I used items I had in the scrapbook stash.  (yesterday I was thinking - man! another free craft - but then I quickly realized, I paid for this stuff at some point!)

If you dont have the little 'brads' or clips I used in the middle, you can easily use a stapler.  Take out the construction paper, stapler and Voila!  

(so the blue wall is new.  its part of the major much-needed redecorating going on around here.  more pics and details coming soon!)