This.

This is what started it all.

This is what basically took me out at the knees, crippling me from feeling human for the last three months.

This plus a toddler made me crave long winter naps. 

This came as a surprise.  I mean I knew what I was doing, but I didnt think it would happen so quickly.  I even told the nurse when she called that she had the wrong patient. 

This is taking a while to get excited about.  I am feeling lots of 'Max is more than enough, what am I doing bringing another into the world?'

However, today, I actually felt good about This. 

This was reviewed by the 'old mama' doctor today.  I was supposed to have an invasive genetic test done, and after his review and confidence that everything looks normal, I opted out. 

God has blessed me with This, a second miracle.  And whatever it is - boy, girl, genetic problems or not - I was meant to be its mama. 

When I left the doctor's office today, I felt scared that I opted out of the test, but also relieved. 

This explains my absence from the world. 

I am starting to feel human again.  This week I've only had a couple of occasions where I wanted to puke until my head pops off (as opposed to everyday, all day). 

I will not lie and say 'This is great! I cant wait!' in regards to being a mama to two kids.  I am excited, though more scared than anything.  But if I recall correctly, I believe I was this scared when I was pregnant with Max. 

Life will be just right with my two kids.  My heart is full. 

Comments

[emily (justem)]

That is wonderful!! :) Congrats! (And we opted out of all genetic tests...you are right, you are beant to be his/her mama in all cases.) :)

[Mary]

Ahh! That's wonderful news!:)

[hopefulcc]

Congratulations!!!!
So, so happy for you, M! This little one is so lucky to be joining your family - you're such a great mama and Max is going to be such a great big brother. You are truly blessed :)

[Lara]

Congratulations! I am SO happy for you! I know well what it's like to be pregnant and full of questions while being a full time mommy to a toddler. It's exhausting. My best tip is to go straight to bed when your little one does :)