38 Weeks
This is it. The last picture of me with child for this pregnancy. In 12 short hours, I'll be a Mom. The pregnancy journey is over, but the Mommy journey will just have begun.
Everyone I know is SO excited for this, and I feel like I am just going through the motions right now. I've had dreams come true - little dreams, you know the kind of 'I really want that job', or 'I hope work picks me to travel to exotic places' - and I knew how to enjoy them and be excited for them. This dream, the Mom dream, this one is different. This was SO out of reach for so long. And now here I sit on a Saturday night realizing this is THE last Saturday night by myself. Ever.
Whoa.
Big change. I am scared. I hope it turns out to be so much more than I have ever imagined. I hope this vulnerability I feel subsides sooner than later.
I havent spoken to Max today. I am afraid he will hear my fear in my voice and I dont want him to be scared. (not that he has any idea of the scared emotion right now!) I suppose I should talk to him before he is taken from his warm bubble, explain to him that its just me and him. And we'll do great! We might not know everything but we'll truck through as a team. (and in case of an emergency, there is always Grandma!)
Talk to you on the other side!
